Well today I'm heading home again to take more stuff back. I'm going throuh all my clothes and taking all my posters and decorations down. It's the end of an era. I've lived in this house for two years, and it will be sad to leave. Before we leave, however ,we have to clean it, and the less stuff we have in it the better!
A divorce hearing for my parents happened yesterday. From what I understand, we are to sell our home and business and split the money equally between them. Dad has tried to secure some sort of inheritance for Zander and I, but it failed. I understand why: but I work on the premis that I have no inheritance. I hate it when people are basically waiting for their parents to die so they can inherit. But this decision means that I will have no base, and there will be no 'matrimonial' home. A recent conversation with my mum left me very angry when she implied we were no longer a family. But if she feels that way then that's fine by me. Even if that means I have no mother and have no idea who my biological father is. I'm not sure when the selling will all happen - maybe next year sometime. I think my mother will press to do it as soon as possible.
Anyhow, I need to press on with the sorting. My bike's going to have to go this time too. But it'll be back when I get to Cardiff. Maybe when everything gets sold I could get Dad to move to Wales! Now there's an idea!
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Friday, June 15, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
New looks!
This blog had had a bit of a makeover. Pretty, huh? And much nicer than the pink, and I love pink, so that's saying something.
Well - I've done all I need to do for my course, so I'm kind of putting my house in order a bit, figuratively, and literally! I've got to get my stuff up here sorted so I can move out soon. I'll be going back to Plymouth, and then I'll be looking for a place in Cardiff for next year, and applying for loans and stuff to pay for the course.
I'm also listening to Gwen Stefani's The Sweet Escape (the album) on repeat at the moment, perhaps in an attempt to stop myself thinking about the parents and their divorce too much. Suffice to say, both sides are sharpening claws. Which is a shame because they all agreed to my plans for my graduation, but I'm dreading having to go home, and what it's going to be like when everyone's in the same room. They all want me to go home - which just makes me want to avoid it for as long as possible. Everyone seems to have theories about what the other is up to, and I've seriously had enough. And I will not be going to court.
Zander has had it tough too - he finally got a girlfriend and she messed him around in the worst possible way. Girls, think about the worst thing you could do...and then the actual worst. That was it. So he finished with her.
But other than that, my life is wonderful. I've got some great work lined up for the Summer, although more of it would be nice. Again, I'm stewarding at festivals. And there's some other ideas in the pipeline. Plus, let's not forget, I know what I'm going to do with my life. Well. Sort of.
Well - I've done all I need to do for my course, so I'm kind of putting my house in order a bit, figuratively, and literally! I've got to get my stuff up here sorted so I can move out soon. I'll be going back to Plymouth, and then I'll be looking for a place in Cardiff for next year, and applying for loans and stuff to pay for the course.
I'm also listening to Gwen Stefani's The Sweet Escape (the album) on repeat at the moment, perhaps in an attempt to stop myself thinking about the parents and their divorce too much. Suffice to say, both sides are sharpening claws. Which is a shame because they all agreed to my plans for my graduation, but I'm dreading having to go home, and what it's going to be like when everyone's in the same room. They all want me to go home - which just makes me want to avoid it for as long as possible. Everyone seems to have theories about what the other is up to, and I've seriously had enough. And I will not be going to court.
Zander has had it tough too - he finally got a girlfriend and she messed him around in the worst possible way. Girls, think about the worst thing you could do...and then the actual worst. That was it. So he finished with her.
But other than that, my life is wonderful. I've got some great work lined up for the Summer, although more of it would be nice. Again, I'm stewarding at festivals. And there's some other ideas in the pipeline. Plus, let's not forget, I know what I'm going to do with my life. Well. Sort of.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Drunken children?
As news breaks today that Alcohol Concern is, well, concerned about children drinking at home, I wonder if it's the right attitude.
I grew up in a social club. I was completely surrounded by alcohol from birth, and before (my mother worked behind the bar while she was pregnant). So I was alowed to drink a little from an early age. However, I rarely drank alcohol because I didn't like the taste. But I knew that my parents would allow me to have some of their wine, or a bottle of beer perhaps, if I wanted. I got cramp in my sleep badly when I was sixteen while on holiday, and my dad mixed me a gin and tonic for the quinine the next day. It was hot and it was a refreshing drink. My parents never encouraged me to drink as such, but they didn't attempt to stop me.
I only started drinking in any quantity when I was with my first boyfriend, and his parents were heavy drinkers. Unfortunately his parents drank like they were in university still, i.e. regularly during the week, and very heavily at raucous parties with their huge group of friends most weekends. Their son grew up thinking getting drunk was fun and clever, rather than accepting it as a small part of life.
I was always more restrained with alcohol than my peers. I always was the one looking out for others. Ok, so I'm a control freak and the eldest child, but still. It wasn't until this university year, while I dealt with the break-up of my longest relationship, that I made a few mistakes with alcohol. A couple of times since October I drank so much I was sick. I lost my phone and all my friends one night. That scared the life out of me, and my friends who were away from me, as they knew it wasn't my style. However, I moved on, and think that compared to how some people deal with things in life, I did it in relative safety. I didn't have a huge binge of one-night stands. I didn't take any recreational drugs. I didn't shut out my friends.
I don't think my parents did a bad job by allowing me to have alcohol. Dai's parents often have a bottle of wine, shared by the whole family (apart from his sister who doesn't like the taste) but if they don't want it, they say no. Often I don't feel like drinking, so I don't. I think part of our drinking culture is that we can't say no, and I'm not sure why. I always question whether I really want a drink, and rarely ever drink if I'm feeling depressed. I never drink even a sip if I know I may have to drive.
I hope they don't ban children from being able to experience alcohol in a healthy environment like a responsible family home. I'd like to bring up my (hypothetical)children with alcohol as something to drink with food, allowing them to have heavily diluted wine as is common in France, in the hope that they won't see it as big or clever when they grow up. I also really hate adults being drunk in front of children, as I saw supposedly responsible adults drunk and out of control as a child at a friend's birthday party, and it was quite scary for me.
What does worry me is irresponsible families who abuse alcohol passing it on to their offspring. How we can control that, I'm not sure. I don't believe that legislation to make drinking at home illegal would help those children with irresponsible parents.
We do need to change our drinking culture. But clearly, making something illegal doesn't make it impossible. I think restricting children's access to alcohol would only provide a greater novelty once they became of age, creating a greater problem than that we already face.
I grew up in a social club. I was completely surrounded by alcohol from birth, and before (my mother worked behind the bar while she was pregnant). So I was alowed to drink a little from an early age. However, I rarely drank alcohol because I didn't like the taste. But I knew that my parents would allow me to have some of their wine, or a bottle of beer perhaps, if I wanted. I got cramp in my sleep badly when I was sixteen while on holiday, and my dad mixed me a gin and tonic for the quinine the next day. It was hot and it was a refreshing drink. My parents never encouraged me to drink as such, but they didn't attempt to stop me.
I only started drinking in any quantity when I was with my first boyfriend, and his parents were heavy drinkers. Unfortunately his parents drank like they were in university still, i.e. regularly during the week, and very heavily at raucous parties with their huge group of friends most weekends. Their son grew up thinking getting drunk was fun and clever, rather than accepting it as a small part of life.
I was always more restrained with alcohol than my peers. I always was the one looking out for others. Ok, so I'm a control freak and the eldest child, but still. It wasn't until this university year, while I dealt with the break-up of my longest relationship, that I made a few mistakes with alcohol. A couple of times since October I drank so much I was sick. I lost my phone and all my friends one night. That scared the life out of me, and my friends who were away from me, as they knew it wasn't my style. However, I moved on, and think that compared to how some people deal with things in life, I did it in relative safety. I didn't have a huge binge of one-night stands. I didn't take any recreational drugs. I didn't shut out my friends.
I don't think my parents did a bad job by allowing me to have alcohol. Dai's parents often have a bottle of wine, shared by the whole family (apart from his sister who doesn't like the taste) but if they don't want it, they say no. Often I don't feel like drinking, so I don't. I think part of our drinking culture is that we can't say no, and I'm not sure why. I always question whether I really want a drink, and rarely ever drink if I'm feeling depressed. I never drink even a sip if I know I may have to drive.
I hope they don't ban children from being able to experience alcohol in a healthy environment like a responsible family home. I'd like to bring up my (hypothetical)children with alcohol as something to drink with food, allowing them to have heavily diluted wine as is common in France, in the hope that they won't see it as big or clever when they grow up. I also really hate adults being drunk in front of children, as I saw supposedly responsible adults drunk and out of control as a child at a friend's birthday party, and it was quite scary for me.
What does worry me is irresponsible families who abuse alcohol passing it on to their offspring. How we can control that, I'm not sure. I don't believe that legislation to make drinking at home illegal would help those children with irresponsible parents.
We do need to change our drinking culture. But clearly, making something illegal doesn't make it impossible. I think restricting children's access to alcohol would only provide a greater novelty once they became of age, creating a greater problem than that we already face.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Divorce, St. David's Day and dissertation
The dissertation draft is due in soon. As is the Researching Politics (Child Soldiers) group report. So I'm snowed under. Again. Plus I have another application form, or actually a few. Some are for funding, but I'm also applying to the Telegraph. They're offering apprenticeships, basically. The application is ten pages long. The funding letters are more vauge 'set out personal circumstances'. Don't ask for my life history, because you will surely get it.
The list has gone up for graduations ceremonies. Not until July. But that makes no difference. The fact is that the two people who brought me up hate each other to the extent that they cannot be left in the same room together and their silly divorce is going through court as we speak. It's completely unecessary, but there it is. Currently, I'm disgusted with both of them. The word is we only get two tickets for graduation. I thought about it and got quite stressed. This is going to be an important day. I thought about the options, and combinations, and decided I couldn't invite anyone. I was at Dai's parents house. I could invite them, I joked. Better than no one to be happy for me.
But I've thought about it some more. I think I might invite both my parents. Maybe I'll tell them the other's going, maybe I won't until they ask. I will however make it as difficult as possible for them to say no. That'll force them to get their act together, and if they don't, then they don't love me. I shall also reserve the right to completely ignore them if they act up and refuse to referee.
Childish? Maybe. but sometimes it does people good to have a taste of their own medicine.
The list has gone up for graduations ceremonies. Not until July. But that makes no difference. The fact is that the two people who brought me up hate each other to the extent that they cannot be left in the same room together and their silly divorce is going through court as we speak. It's completely unecessary, but there it is. Currently, I'm disgusted with both of them. The word is we only get two tickets for graduation. I thought about it and got quite stressed. This is going to be an important day. I thought about the options, and combinations, and decided I couldn't invite anyone. I was at Dai's parents house. I could invite them, I joked. Better than no one to be happy for me.
But I've thought about it some more. I think I might invite both my parents. Maybe I'll tell them the other's going, maybe I won't until they ask. I will however make it as difficult as possible for them to say no. That'll force them to get their act together, and if they don't, then they don't love me. I shall also reserve the right to completely ignore them if they act up and refuse to referee.
Childish? Maybe. but sometimes it does people good to have a taste of their own medicine.
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